the-yolocaust:

im dreaming of a #FFFFFF christmas

understandablydumb:

the guy on the radio just said “gas prices aren’t so bad if you consider you’re really buying liquid explosive dinosaurs” and my perspective on life is forever changed

i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole

(Source: deluminator)

callmekitto:

internetfeet:

People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t

Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”

And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”

THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.

interstellar-rocknroller:

a-fast-zombie:

glampora:

fuzzylumpkinz:

the-face-of-broe:

consulting-meerkat:

treesong:

reavers:

astridkirchherr:

Killer Queen - Queen (Isolated Vocals)

fuck. fuck.

Fucking butter.

things that are over: my life and what i originally thought of my voice

i quit

let me go change my underwear…

is this what i hear when i’m entering heaven or 

(Source: fuckyeahmercury)

darrynek:

a rapper walks into a hospital emergency room. “i’m the illest”, says the rapper. the nursing staff ask him to freestyle. he drops dead

(Source: darrynek)

marielikestodraw:

pahnem:

mercuriesrising:

aparticularlygoodfinder:

Go to Starbucks. Order coffee for “Prisoner 24601”

When they call out your order, jump up and yell “My name is Jean Valjean!”

And if the barista replies with “AND I’M JAVERT,” you tip that motherfucker so hard

you tip them right over the edge of a bridge

you fucking didn’t

oh my god.

(Source: villainyandgoodcheekbones)